![]() ![]() It was perfect, and I will always treasure it. Underneath he wrote, “It’s all around you.” Then he folded up the note and placed it in a small, wooden box. My husband took a little piece of paper, wrote my name in the middle, and printed his name and the names of all our children around mine in a circle. We have a favorite song by Darden Smith called “All Around You.” The singer is telling a woman that his love is “all around you, above and below you, everywhere you go…”, etc. (So they CAN evolve!) Last year he gave me a Christmas gift I will always remember. He didn’t used to be as good at gifts as he is now. It also means a lot to me that he values my opinion above all others. I never have to convince him that what I am doing or want to do is worthwhile. He also respects me, and it shows in his actions. (A therapist once told me that I love him because he can “handle” me…And I don’t mean physically, by the way, but that ain’t bad either!) I love how my husband is able to accept all the parts of me…and there are quite a few, some more desirable than others. So tell me what do you know love to be? What people and experiences have expanded your understanding and definition of love? What powerful demonstrations or aspects of love have you experienced? So for all that I’ll accept the empty ice cream container on the counter, and the “sorry I’ll be late tonight”, and the absence of flowers and anniversary rings, knowing I have something the movies rarely show, something far more endearing and precious. It’s about letting them unfold into everything they can become. Love is giving someone the gift of becoming their best self. It’s not clipping their wings, putting them in a cage. A tribute to divine nature and individual worth. His example has taught me to love this way, to extend this love back to him, to our children, and to others.A personal love-born in serving, giving, and growing. He gives me the courage to jump, to take risks, to lose the self conscious fear, knowing he’ll always catch me and applaud my attempts no matter the outcome. He sacrifices things he’d rather be doing for my joy. He works behind the scenes making ME happen. He’s the one who stands behind me and spots me when I get ready to jump. He’s not beholden to my beckon bidding, some obsequious follower. ![]() He’s wound up cutting many a wedding cake, and re-sewn many a pesky seam when I’ve gotten too frustrated with a sewing project all this to let me feel the joy of accomplishment, the happiness of experience, and fulfillment from using my skills. He doesn’t flinch when I spend money on a class, a workshop, a trip, or a cause I believe in. (Right now he is scrubbing the dishes so I can compose this post –oh the guilt). He spiffies the house extra nicely so I can throw a baby shower or host a party, or have women over to paint. It means unloading thousand of things from the car after art shows and various PTO extravaganzas, and sitting on the bed in my studio (however boring it may be) to keep me company on a Friday night when he knows I am dying to paint. Instead he gets to come home to an empty house while his wife is traveling to some exotic locale on a medical mission, or to take a day off work and manage our three young boys sightseeing in New York City while I present at a conference. He doesn’t get fame and fortune in return. He encourages me to take opportunities that often take money, time and energy. He gives me freedom, with complete trust and unquestioning support. It’s not the showy romantic love of the movies– instead he gives me a blank check (no, not that kind of blank check). ![]() Instead, my birthday gift is usually something like a blender and my Valentine’s card is made from a manila folder he cut up at work. A man so in love with me he was constantly showering me with gifts. He’s not what I envisioned in my dreamy 15 year old mind. He doesn’t plan elaborate surprises or whisk me off on exotic vacations to those over water bungalows in Bali. My husband doesn’t surprise me with bouquets of dewy roses flowers or lavish me with expensive diamond bracelets. ![]()
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